TODAY’S DEVOTIONAL PASSAGE

DEVOTIONAL

by Elder Chris Beltran

Today, we are sharing the first 2 A’s of the 7 A’s of developing a deeper relationship with your family as taught by Dr. Josh Mcdowell in his recent visit to Manila.

A. Affirmation. One of the strongest of all love languages is affirmation. Every single day, we need to affirm our love for each other and bless each other with encouraging and affirming words. Husbands, saying, “I already told you that I love you in our wedding vows. I will tell you when I don’t love you anymore,” is a great example of not being affirmative. Our children also need our affirmation. Don’t play the blame game. Blaming them for small things, using anger, guilt trip, or shouting would only create resentment and tension. Don’t throw around Bible verses too to prove your point. Instead of coming to you even when they make mistakes, by being a critic, you are encouraging them not to. If there is a need to correct, always do it in an atmosphere of affirmation. The child must know why he is being reprimanded or corrected while also trusting you have his best interest in mind because you love him.

B. Acceptance gives a sense of security. We often, as parents, show our acceptance of our children only when they meet our expectations and get a hundred, as if being second is never good enough. Some parents will use very strong words to voice their displeasure: “You’re lazy, stupid, and not trying hard!” I played basketball with fathers who were great players in their prime, and I observed them playing basketball with their children. A lot of shouting and blaming occur; instead of improving, the children become tense when playing with their dads. I know that as parents, we want our children to be excellent. I had high grades in school; my child must also have high grades, or if I didn’t excel in school, I would see to it my child did. Nothing wrong with wanting excellence, which should be encouraged, but demanding it without accepting failures or limitations will prove disastrous. Whether one wins or loses, meets our expectations or not, achieves the goal that was set or not, our children have the assurance of our acceptance that our love does not depend on their success. “Our love and acceptance will always be there because you’re our son; no matter what happens, you have to know that we love you unconditionally.” The same with your spouse, who needs to know that your love is unconditional (even if your wife doesn’t cook your steak the way you wanted it, or your husband did not get that promotion or was fired from his job).

Rules without relationships lead to rebellion. Truth without relationship leads to rejection. Discipline without a relationship leads to anger. Let’s all build and develop deeper relationships.

REFLECTION

As parents, have we constantly been playing the blame game, finding fault and mistakes, and being a constant critic instead of an encourager? Are we showing genuine acceptance of our children even if they meet certain expectations? Instead of finding faults, let us be on the lookout for the positive traits your family is exhibiting and affirm them by telling them how much you appreciate them. Create an atmosphere of openness so that when correction is needed, they will readily embrace it. Make it intentional to find ways to affirm your unconditional love for your family and accept them wholeheartedly.  

PRAYER

Lord, give me Your eyes of compassion and a heart of understanding. Please help me be self-controlled in my criticism, non-affirmation, and acceptance of my family’s shortcomings. May I be more encouraging, affirming, and accepting as we seek to build a deeper relationship with our family. In Jesus’ name, Amen.